Winter Has Come

It's a rainy day on a busy Saturday. Shopping goers cursing at the fully parked sheltered areas. Drivers straining their legs - manual car users - to cope with the slow traffic.

It's nearly Christmas and everyone's doing last minute shopping. It seems like for the past few days, someone literally rained on enthusiastic Christians' parade.
But again, it's winter time and for us who only have 1 season, it seems appropriate for us, lucky enough, to have rains. So why not we just embrace the rain and just let it splash on us. Remembering childhood and the feeling of getting better after a minor fever. And maybe just take a sip of warm coffee and enjoy the symphony of rain.
Or just sleep all day.

Oh Life

It's funny how humans like to complicate life.
Assuming things out of own thoughts.
Smiling in front of a person, but a tiny smirk untraceable behind him or her.
A small gesture from a person will make another come out with any possible, or not so possible outcomes in their minds.
How a person try to fit in, when he himself is not fitting the right thoughts in him.
And how people were born with the ability to outcast people by appearances, and automatically accept others without a second thought.

Sometimes, most of the time actually, people will be better without this side in them. Life will be without secrecy and complications.
But I guess, some just love the dramas. Peace to little pieces of details in your life.

Life's Lesson 101

My mama always say, life is like a box of donuts. What you see is what you get. What you don't see, makes it more delicious.

Don't Kill Me For This

I suddenly have this racist thought.
You know the Middle East women always cover almost every part of their body except for their visions? What would their passport picture look like?

Pre-Exam Concerns

My violin examination is this coming Friday.

I purposely skip school today just to practice my violin and, hopefully, increase the chances ofsucceeding at it.

Despite constantly reminding myself that it will go well and passing the examination with good marks, I can't help worrying about it. Mistakes keep popping up when I practice and no matter how many times I practice, they won't go away, be it a major mistake or a minor one. Not that getting on my nerves help at all.

I am here typing this out so that I can finally cast away this feeling. In order to settle a matter for good, one must spill out the problem first. After all, worrying is just like a painting.

It is created out of nothing. The only difference is that worry is not a good painting. Now, the worry is gone for good and even if it appears, confidence will be the dominating one.

Well, life is meant to be experimented.

I don't know why I typed that, but I know it will come to my senses one day soon.

Have You Lived Your Future?

Do you ever have those moments when you just don't feel like doing anything? When that does do you feel you're wasting your time and the brightness of your future is dimmed bits by bits? Well the truth is, yes you are.

Sometimes I have that and it's hard to motivate myself even though I know it takes away 10 or 20 pages of revisions or a few exercises on the fingers to increase the smoothness in my musical pieces, making it sounds more appealing to passing by pedestrians or add a smile instead of a frown on the face of a friendly neighbour.At times like this I think to myself : Why not just think a lot when I do nothing?

It's true that we think a lot when we do nothing, be it during a boring class session or the second your mind wander off when you try to revise. But instead of thinking about being able to fly, the good life of the rich and famous, dating a Megan Fox, or skip the details of the date and just straight to the point.

Nope I'm talking about thinking about your past that you have buried deep inside of you. This is the time for you to dig it, don't matter the depth, even if the memory hurts or unease you. It might be the only time you have ever felt like that. Does the memory brings you to the first day or your schooling life? The first time you felt the chemistry and adrenaline rushed when you see a member of the opposite gender? Or for some people, the same gender. The embarrassing moments of life? When you try to look like others and end up looking like a dope?

Good, you're rediscovering yourself.

Or take the nothingness of the time, and paint your future? What you think of many times will eventually come to you. Some people call it Law Of Attraction, some call it the blessing of their God, some just call it plain luck. Any way you call it or doubt the power of it, this actually works if the thought is been repeated numerous times or your imagination is strong enough. Trying it will not hurt you nor it'll become the source of your retardation.

How you want your future to be? A spacious garage full with sleek, stylish and big cars? The ability to live a life of an endless spending on every clothes that you lay your eyes on? Or able to attract or socialize with anybody that you want? Or living the life of an everyday tourist, discovering the world?You can picture your future in any crazy or sensible way that you want, just don't choke yourself when doing so.I'm not trying to act matured, just a boy who doesn't want to feel he's wasting his youth when he's doing nothing =)

Question Of The Moment When You're Doing Nothing :
Have you lived your future?

Absence Doesn't Mean Vanished

Today I was having duet with my piano teacher, then suddenly I stopped playing and said, "Yeah I practiced until here."
... in Chinese.
I always speak to my piano teacher in English but suddenly I was talking as if I'm having another normal class with my violin teacher.
I kinda missed my classes with my violin teacher although a lot of scolding for not practicing and telling me philosophy stuff were involved.
But not long ago, he passed away due to old age and the last I saw him was about 4 months ago, excluding the funeral I went to last Friday.
Well now I have to depend on my own to practice my violin and get a good mark for Violin Grade 6 Examination.I'm sure he was looking at me practice duet with my piano teacher today, somewhere out there peaceful, and serene.

TIck Tock Tick Tock

It's around 2 weeks since school started and has been hectic since the first day.
My blog has not been visited by me for so long that it starts to have cobwebs on it.
Cobwebs on website.
Haha, get it?

Okay fine its not funny at all. Just some specs of both me and my dad's scattering on the table, from young to elder (or golden age, as said by many people).

I have no idea when will I update again.
It is sometimes strange that time learnt how to fly before it even walks.

Dream To Sleep

Life is a series of unwritten philosophies.
Here I am quoting something that seems profound but actually holds no meaning.

Its 2.30 am now to be exact and no matter how sleepy I am, I can't sleep yet.
My mom will be awaiting outside the door pretty soon because she doesn't have keys so I have to open the door for her.
She's finally back from China after having so much fun and dumping my grandma and I in the house like we're in one of the Survivor series.
So, here I am, tired and sleepy, waiting for my mother.
If I don't get any gifts,
I'll sign her up for Fear Factor.

Seclusion

Its been a few days since my mother went on a holiday trip to China with her friends.
And a few weeks since my father went to Cambodia in the name of business.
While my brothers are working strenuously in the big city Kuala Lumpur.

Now its only my grandma and I in the house. Making it seem so empty and silence all the time.Sometimes she cooks, sometimes I'll walk to nearby restaurants to buy lunch or dinner for the 2 of us, hoping that it will loosen her burden.
Because she's always the one doing house chores, while I'm practicing music.

I've spend more time in front of my piano, at times a violin clamped between my shoulder and chin,and sometimes half-hugging my guitar.The time spent on reading books, story books, not text books, have been unknowingly extended too.On the sofa, its either my grandma watching Chinese dramas, or me watching random stuff, its just another reason for me to make the house seem less vacant.The usual shouting and noises made by my mother and grandma has decreased to nothing, there's no more complaining from me and wondering how much worse it could be if I have a sister.
Sometimes I'll stay till pass midnight, sounds can only be heard from soothing music and my grandma's deep snoring... (?)

When I'm doing almost nothing I'll think about another part of me,
my family.


P.S : This is not an emo post.
P.P.S : I repeat, it is not.
P.P.P.S : Also, this is not a suicide note, obituary or whatsoever.
P.P.P.P.S : I've finally know how to use P.S.

I Think What I Thought & I Thought What I Think

Tonight I have been doing a lot of thinking.
What would my future holds?
What is the actual meaning of living?
What are the mistakes that I really regret doing?

Is it true that people really care about the inside instead of the outside?
Not even one bit on the outside?
Or is it something that fugly people made it up to comfort themselves?
Okay that was completely pointless.

The real question is,
Why would God make people ugly in the 1st place?!
Some people might say its destiny.
Some say it is a challenge given by God.
Some actual people with common sense would say God is making fun out of people. (wtf?)

What about the ugly side (on the inside this time) of people?
When is people gonna stop being racist?
When is drugs, cocaine and cigarettes health crisis gonna end?
Now even guys gossip, what the heck happened to the male popularity?
And girls are willing to do anything just to get famous (most of them). What for?

I know you girls must be mad of what I said just now but what I said is based on facts, not just plain accusing. =)

Teenagers nowadays are having their own communities.
The categories are : Jocks, Emos, Nerds, The Good Lookings, The Fuglies, Bitchy Bitches, Actual Good Girls (which is very rare, like 0.12%) and,
POO GAS community - People whO dOn't Give A Shit.
Adults always believe that teenagers are the future of the country and a better world.
But that has became something that only people will say 20 years back.

God is true because the Bible says God is true.
and,
The Bible is true because the Bible says the Bible is true.

Err, that was completely random.

It is now 2.40 a.m. and I'm still thinking about......
something that leads to nothing.

Lost In Expression

This is just a random post about expressing yourself.
Today I was watching the tv and there's a show called She's Got The Look. It is a model search reality show consists of many MILFs and GILFs (find out yourself for the meaning).
It is more of a confidence reality show.
Anyways there was a time when they are asked to express themselves and one of them said "I grow up in a religion where your beauty have to be kept instead of be shown, and when someone gives you a compliment of being beautiful, you cannot even be proud of it."

I think you already know what religion is that. But I'm not gonna say it out (ISA's getting pretty big in Malaysia!)

Its pretty sad when people can't express how they feel most of the time.
It is usually because of self-confidence, low self esteem, language difficulties, being a nerd, when you try to be others, posers and especially when Ah Lians and Ah Bengs try to speak in English.But expressing yourself too much can be a bad thing.
When people give mean comments about others just for the sake of expressing themselves, they are called haters.And watching such tv show does not mean that you're gay.