Unsleep Yourself

Something weird is happening to me. The exact time now is 3:23 am. And I've barely slept for less than 2 hours. When I went to sleep just now, I was really tired.

Now, I don't feel tired, sleepy, nor energetic at all. It's like my body gone completely neutral. And the time spent just now did not recharge my brain.

You know how you always dream not after you go to sleep, but rather, the moment before you wake up? Yeah that happened to me right after I went to sleeping mode. And around 10 dreams went through my head just now. So my brain was kinda messy and the details of my dreams are still fresh.

I sound like a whiny pre-teen Twilight fan.

Whoa!

Hopefully it's just raging hormones. Going to try and sleep now.

Winter Has Come

It's a rainy day on a busy Saturday. Shopping goers cursing at the fully parked sheltered areas. Drivers straining their legs - manual car users - to cope with the slow traffic.

It's nearly Christmas and everyone's doing last minute shopping. It seems like for the past few days, someone literally rained on enthusiastic Christians' parade.
But again, it's winter time and for us who only have 1 season, it seems appropriate for us, lucky enough, to have rains. So why not we just embrace the rain and just let it splash on us. Remembering childhood and the feeling of getting better after a minor fever. And maybe just take a sip of warm coffee and enjoy the symphony of rain.
Or just sleep all day.

Oh Life

It's funny how humans like to complicate life.
Assuming things out of own thoughts.
Smiling in front of a person, but a tiny smirk untraceable behind him or her.
A small gesture from a person will make another come out with any possible, or not so possible outcomes in their minds.
How a person try to fit in, when he himself is not fitting the right thoughts in him.
And how people were born with the ability to outcast people by appearances, and automatically accept others without a second thought.

Sometimes, most of the time actually, people will be better without this side in them. Life will be without secrecy and complications.
But I guess, some just love the dramas. Peace to little pieces of details in your life.

Life's Lesson 101

My mama always say, life is like a box of donuts. What you see is what you get. What you don't see, makes it more delicious.

Begins & Endings

As a series of life has ended. I keep in my memory what I had to - friends, happenings, progresses, reflections, the good times, the crazy times and even the bad ones.

And of course, the ones I do not need, unlike the others, I decided not to burn them because I am an environmental friendly good citizen. Yeah I'm a saint. So these big piles will be recycled. Good riddance.

Taking A Break

"So what if you don't excel in SPM?"

-my brief but informational dream-

Don't Kill Me For This

I suddenly have this racist thought.
You know the Middle East women always cover almost every part of their body except for their visions? What would their passport picture look like?

Uneventful Is The Word

Jack here reporting to a rusting and dust-covered blog, which is completely abandoned during my exam period. I am suppose to attend a concert today in conjunction of celebrating with most of the Form 5s who finished their trial exams. Instead, I am sitting here sipping coffee and listening to humble music. The house seems miraculously silent with the newly absence of both my loud mom and mom's mom. My father sleeping after a long journey of sending them to the airport.

Once again, my mom left me for a trip to Vietnam for war. Instead of guns and anything explosive, she will be using a keris. Patriotism got the best of her.

But I'll be joining her shortly afterward. Wish me luck, Earthlings. Send each other love and gratitude, we do not need unnecessary wars. Skipping on a concert for certain reason, I am sitting in front of the keyboard making use of my precious youth time writing a bunch of words that confuse and frustrate you who might be trying to figure out what I'm babbling. I am really looking forward to the upcoming holidays to celebrate practically for no reason because hardwork is definitely not the value I applied during exam period.

Thank you for wasting your precious time reading this I am sincerely impressed and amazed that you can even reach here. Will be back at your service to make your life more miserable. Or maybe you won't be back.

In the meantime, my blog will continue it's process of losing Ferrum ions.

Colour Your World

Gossip Guys

I Love M&Ms

Today I was enjoying a packet of M&M chocolate candies. And to be truthful, the colourful coatings of them are quite unappetizing to me. So I decided to decolourise it by putting them in hot water. This is after 15 seconds. It actually looks quite cool. The colour blend. I don't mean the candies.
Left nothing but chocolate and the peanut inside it. And the chocolate is very soft. Yuck. That's why I love M&Ms.

Grains Of Sand

Wise Saying From My Grandmother

(The conversation below were all spoken in Mandarin)Me : Wah, ah ma! So hardworking ah. Reading newspaper.
Ah Ma : What? No lah! I'm looking at (lottery) number! So frustrating, never even win! Waste my money!Me : Then don't buy lah.
Ah Ma : Cannot! If my number wins but I didn't buy, that will be more frustrating!
I love my grandma.

Uncertainty

Can't sleep tonight so will do a short blog post considering that I abandoned it for more than a week sometimes I wonder if I type too much in a sentence without putting commas or fullstops but I think that's just me

Okay that was completely random.
As usual, like any other teens, I am going through the times when I don't know what I'm going to do after I take my SPM examination.
In tuition today, a friend suggested me that taking a year break will help in some ways. That means doing almost nothing concerning academics for one year. That will be total freedom. Either to stay at home and do totally nothing, go out doing adventurous stuff or work part time. Then take my sweet time to think properly what I want to do.

Another friend suggested that I go for pre-U. That will be good too because I can first experience college life and hence, study the many subjects which maybe one of them might raise my interest the most. But the fees around RM10,000.
Haha.

Or music. But that's very risky in some ways.

So I'm still very self-absorb in this traumatic decision. I hate teenagers' mind =(

Perplexity

Something tells me that I'm suppose to be doing something important...

Eggs In Red

Last Year, Back Then

It's funny how time pass by really fast these days. Today I looked through my old files and saw these bunch of photos that I took last year, in class 4H, when I was smarter back then.

This was my class, a heck load of students crammed in one small lab (We were using labs as classrooms last year.) Sebastian was one of the students that no longer share the same class with me. His dramas and extra sensitivity to tickles still remain his trademarks.

And to think that I don't really know these guys back then. Yeah, the ones who stare intensely into each others eyes.

And one of the groups that shared the dumbest yet funniest jokes ever. Some of the jokes' on the long sleeves one. It's okay Jameson, I won't mention your name.

Among the trends that had died is pen spinning. And these drawings.Nah, I'm not that artistic to be able to create such art.

But still, there are somethings never change.
Like this field, Tay Wei Song, he still remains innocent despite some people's attempt to corrupt his mind. And... this guy.

Pre-Exam Concerns

My violin examination is this coming Friday.

I purposely skip school today just to practice my violin and, hopefully, increase the chances ofsucceeding at it.

Despite constantly reminding myself that it will go well and passing the examination with good marks, I can't help worrying about it. Mistakes keep popping up when I practice and no matter how many times I practice, they won't go away, be it a major mistake or a minor one. Not that getting on my nerves help at all.

I am here typing this out so that I can finally cast away this feeling. In order to settle a matter for good, one must spill out the problem first. After all, worrying is just like a painting.

It is created out of nothing. The only difference is that worry is not a good painting. Now, the worry is gone for good and even if it appears, confidence will be the dominating one.

Well, life is meant to be experimented.

I don't know why I typed that, but I know it will come to my senses one day soon.

Lazy Sunday

Breakfast in the afternoon? Looks like the Lazy Sunday syndrome struck me again =)

Have You Lived Your Future?

Do you ever have those moments when you just don't feel like doing anything? When that does do you feel you're wasting your time and the brightness of your future is dimmed bits by bits? Well the truth is, yes you are.

Sometimes I have that and it's hard to motivate myself even though I know it takes away 10 or 20 pages of revisions or a few exercises on the fingers to increase the smoothness in my musical pieces, making it sounds more appealing to passing by pedestrians or add a smile instead of a frown on the face of a friendly neighbour.At times like this I think to myself : Why not just think a lot when I do nothing?

It's true that we think a lot when we do nothing, be it during a boring class session or the second your mind wander off when you try to revise. But instead of thinking about being able to fly, the good life of the rich and famous, dating a Megan Fox, or skip the details of the date and just straight to the point.

Nope I'm talking about thinking about your past that you have buried deep inside of you. This is the time for you to dig it, don't matter the depth, even if the memory hurts or unease you. It might be the only time you have ever felt like that. Does the memory brings you to the first day or your schooling life? The first time you felt the chemistry and adrenaline rushed when you see a member of the opposite gender? Or for some people, the same gender. The embarrassing moments of life? When you try to look like others and end up looking like a dope?

Good, you're rediscovering yourself.

Or take the nothingness of the time, and paint your future? What you think of many times will eventually come to you. Some people call it Law Of Attraction, some call it the blessing of their God, some just call it plain luck. Any way you call it or doubt the power of it, this actually works if the thought is been repeated numerous times or your imagination is strong enough. Trying it will not hurt you nor it'll become the source of your retardation.

How you want your future to be? A spacious garage full with sleek, stylish and big cars? The ability to live a life of an endless spending on every clothes that you lay your eyes on? Or able to attract or socialize with anybody that you want? Or living the life of an everyday tourist, discovering the world?You can picture your future in any crazy or sensible way that you want, just don't choke yourself when doing so.I'm not trying to act matured, just a boy who doesn't want to feel he's wasting his youth when he's doing nothing =)

Question Of The Moment When You're Doing Nothing :
Have you lived your future?